chris sale

Chris Sale Forced to Shave Off Beard

If you watched the Chicago White Sox take on the San Diego Padres Sunday, you might have noticed that Chris Sale looked, um…different.

“They said my beard was getting too raggedy,” the pitcher divulged Monday. “I got a call from the front office saying my beard was too scruffy and it had to go.”

“It’s a shame,” said Dr. A. Jonas Froman, chief operating officer of the American Mustache Institute. “The White Sox already play in the most worthless, half-filled ballpark in America and now they’ve reduced their laser cocksmanship score by 78 points. And you wonder why Nolan Ryan kicked Robin Ventura’s ass?”

But, here’s the thing…Sale opted to not go completely clean shaven.

“I had never heard of (any such rules) until this year,” the 25-year-old continued.  “I’m going with the ‘stache now. Gotta have fun somehow, right?”

Team general manager Rick Hahn revealed it was Ventura, the Sox skipper, who ordered not only Sale to lose the chin curtain, but, apparently Adam Dunn as well.  The slugger showed up to the ballpark Monday with a  fresh haircut and a trimmed beard.  Oh, if you’re curious how the newly shorn Sale did sans beard…dude threw a complete game, scattering two hits and striking out nine.

Not.  Too.  Shabby.

Shawn Anderson

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