Red Sox Hosting “Dollar Beard Night”

Back in 2004, as the Boston Red Sox were on their way to ending the team's 86-year long "curse", plenty was made about the beard of Johnny Damon.  Now, close to a decade later, we're still talking Boston beards.  The difference?  Nearly everyone on the squad has one…not just one dude.

Finally, team brass has noticed.

When the American League-leading Red Sox suit up to play host to the Baltimore Orioles, the hope is that bearded fans pack the place.  Enter…"Dollar Beard Night".  It's simple, bring your beard (real or fake) and get in for one dollar.

And as you can imagine, the facial hair community is eating this up.

"Kudos to the Boston Red Sox marketing department for recognizing the raw power of the sexually dynamic mustached American lifestyle," American Mustache Institute Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove said.  "We have found through our observations that the mustache (even with the surrounding facial hair left intact) has been known to increase overall good looks, virility, strength, athletic prowess and attention to detail by no less than 38%, as clearly indicated by the success of this year's Boston Red Sox over their forcibly bald-faced rivals from New York."

"(It's the) one thing the Red Sox can do and the Yankees can't…grow beards," added Phil Olsen, the founder and self-appointed captain of Beard Team USA.  "Go Sox!"

Don't have a beard?  Not a problem.  You can download your own virtual beard courtesy of the Red Sox…just click here!

"It goes without saying that fans stand to gain from such powerful lower nose foliage," Causgrove added, "and in turn bring about a force of pure fandom capable of adding +2.3 runs per game if concentrated in one general area."

Shawn Anderson

About Shawn Anderson

Shawn Anderson is that guy who, instead of sitting there talking about the game going on around him, is talking wise about the history of baseball. He believes baseball figures such as Tommy John, Harold Baines, Ron Guidry and Billy Martin deserve their own plaque somewhere if not in Cooperstown. You can follow him on Twitter at @HOVG.